Today I met up with some of my fabulous sorority sisters at Crocker Park, our fav local "let's go pretend we have money but only buy things on clearance" shopping center. After a mandatory stop at The Cheesecake Factory, we headed to Express. One of my friends had to exchange a shirt that was too small. To her dismay and my all-inclusive feminist rage, we found out that Express doesn't carry size extra large. In anything. Like at all. Who do you think you are, Express? Abercrombie & Fitch? This is absurd. (PS - I just checked online and there is one lonely page of XL tops... cool.)
So in addition to all of the nonsense curvy girls face every day, we also have to approach a clerk at every retail outlet and ask, "Excuse me, do you guys sell anything above size 'that wouldn't fit my nine-year-old cousin'?"
Here are some of my biggest #thickgirlproblems. What are yours? Be sure to comment them below.
1. When you try on cute pants that are supposedly your size but you can only pull them up to your knees.
2. When you scope out a super cute jacket but you can't even attempt to move your arms in fear of pulling a Chris Farley.
3. When bus seats, swings or any other individually-sized seating platform are a total crapshoot and leap of faith.
4. When you have just given up completely on buying tall boots.
4. When you find the most adorable shirt that was ever made... but apparently everyone else did too, so all that remains is a sad pile of extra smalls.
5. When people assume that you have an unhealthy lifestyle.
6. When you're trying to accessorize like a diva and you're like 'UH DO YOU MAKE RINGS FOR MY SAUSAGE FINGERS??'
7. When all your favorite pants die a slow, painful death of thigh holes.
8. When virtually every pair of slacks give you camel toe because your ass is hogging all the fabric.
10. When you're in an expensive store and you have to walk softly and carry
Keep it thick,
Samantha Single In CLE
Sam,
ReplyDeleteLove reading these. Keep it real.
You are doing a great job.
Thank you so much, Robin! That means a lot! :)
DeleteYou rock, Fun. How about when the cutest or sexiest bra catches your eye and you wade through the mountain of milk jug holders in your size just to realize retailers decided that breast-blessed girls don't need the help of anything pretty? Such crap.
ReplyDeleteHehe thanks, Fun! And that is spot-on. Wanna look sexy? Too bad. Only left over Hanes from the early 90's for you! You might as well grab some high-waisted briefs to go with it.
Deletesam i love you!!! this totally made me smile!!! Once at BW i went to a party and i was with the throwers... i was walking with the girls and a guy yelled there is a weight limit of 150 lbs at this party! I was so offended...I told the house owner, whom we knew, and he kicked him out. i will forever be a girl with some extra loven and i love it!!
ReplyDeleteSteph, that is ruh-dic-a-lus. How did you resist throwing a shot put into his face?? So happy you love who you are, because I sure love who you are. :)
DeleteSam,
ReplyDeleteYour posts made a great start to my Monday morning! Can relate to all of these! Here's one more for the road: "Curves: Because Nobody Likes to Snuggle with a stick!"
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/32/4c/12/324c12eda998168d6a2563c17ac69a02.jpg
Hi Andrea, so glad you liked my post! Thanks for sharing that picture - I totally agree. :)
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