An Ode to Men of the 90s

Every generation thinks they had it best with their era-specific morals, style, music and t.v. But us 90s kids know the undeniable truth: the 1990s were the most glorious days this country has seen since prohibition ended.

#nofilter - photos were just naturally shitty back then.

My innocent youth was filled with peace frog posters, pogs, Skip-Its, blow up chairs, huffing scented markers and everything that was right with the world. However, no matter how many hours I put into Dream Phone or how much body glitter I purchased from Claire's, I still wasn't quite old enough to date.

I would give anything to go back to a time when I had zero responsibilities and Sketchers were still cool. And the dating scene was like so much better. For example:



Why carry a purse? My 90s man has JNCO jeans to carry all of my Bonne Belle lip glosses, my palm pilot, Space Jam on VHS, and several boxes of Dunkaroos.

 

 

No JNCO jeans? Well you know my man definitely has a Starter jacket with ample storage for my brick-sized super compact Nokia phone. And my dignity.

Speaking of hand-held assault weapons Nokia phones, you know he's got great hand-eye coordination from playing Snake all day.

 

Us ladies think we're so hot with our hombres, but 90s guys did it first - frosted tips as far as the eye can see.

 

He knows how to communicate.

My 90s man knows how to take care of a woman, just like he takes care of his Tamogotchi.

 

Chilly weather? I'll never be cold in the presence of my 90s boy toy because he's got turtle necks for days.

He has his shit together.

90s men were much more fiscally responsible, and made sound financial investment choices.

 

My 90s guy isn't afraid to take a leap of faith.

 

No need to discuss pay gaps and gender discrimination, men of the 90s are proud feminists.

A 90s boy knows how to let loose and have a good time...

But he understands when to be serious. He's not afraid to look into my eyes and reveal his vulnerable sweater soul.

 

Don't worry about honesty - my 90s beau tells it like it is. Sometimes a little too much.

 

He's handy, or at least his carpenter jeans imply that he is.

   

 A 90s dude isn't afraid to admit his fears...

 

His deepest, darkest fears...

Of course, 90s guys are sexual beings.

But in the end, they know exactly what women want.

 Why do you want to date a 90s guy? Share your favorite characteristics in the comments below.