Fun Fearless Life Lessons: How to Become

About a week ago, I had the pleasure of getting free things and being in NYC. Oh, and I also experienced some major motivation and insight via celebs, gurus, life-changers and status quo questioners.

The event was Cosmo's Fun Fearless Life conference that gathered young women from across the globe for a weekend of nonstop in-your-face inspiration. Many girls were graduating college or looking to make a career change. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I knew I'd find it.

Throughout my next few posts, I'll take you on a guided tour of my takeaways from Bad Bitch Mania Fun Fearless Life 2014. It's seriously way too much 'YAAAASSSS' for one post. Some of the features will include thoughts from TED Talk celeb Amy Cuddy, founder of Nastygal, Sophia Amoroso, PLL's Shay Mitchell, Kelly Osbourne and other beautiful sasstresses.

I knew the event was destined to be a success. The company handling the ticketing somehow royally fucked up managed to upgrade us from peasant seats to 'Diamond' status. And as I'm mingling with my row K neighbors before the event starts, Joanna Coles, Editor in Chief of Cosmopolitan Magazine, walked over to our seats and personally welcomed us. Oh. Kay. #important

Hey. Girl. #HBIC

Along with witnessing some remarkable speakers drop wisdom on career paths, finances and networking, I had a few unintentional revelations of my own. I know I paid a bunch of money to listen to the people on stage, but I often found myself entranced by so many of my fellow attendees' outfits. Yes, they looked put together. Yes, there were some unique ensembles. But damn, these girls were wearing these clothes, taking every step like they were expecting to be approached by a fashion blogger. (Okay, a few probably were.)

In high school, I had a love affair with clothes; dressing myself was my favorite creative outlet. I paired multicolored ripped fishnets with my dingiest converse or an 80's inspired track jacket (or sometimes all of the above). I thrifted till my little punk rock princess heart couldn't thrift anymore. I adored finding the most absurd pieces and creating a look that just screamed "I'm here, the party can start now! Also, I'm a little bit angsty."

Look at how cool this girl is! She loves who she is & gives zero fucks about your opinion.

My obsession with clothes stayed with me as I grew older, but instead of finding new ways to express myself, I was finding new ways to cover up my stomach. And my thighs. And my arms. Soon, I'd hoard everything in my size, everything that fit over my hips and everything that meant one less fitting room breakdown. 

I hate half the things in my closet. This weekend, I scraped each hanger along the janky metal rod and pulled every piece of clothing that didn't make me radiate confidence. I said goodbye to those garments that I made use of for a while, but I know won't propel me to the place I want to be, like saying goodbye to a toxic friend who's only holding you back.

I never realized that I was punishing myself. Here I am, preaching self-acceptance, when I was subconsciously refusing to allow myself to feel beautiful because I felt I didn't deserve to. I used to tell people that I wasn't materialistic, but in my mind I created a final version of myself: negative thirty pounds later with better speaking skills and an understanding of how to do my hair. I was promising the world to this Sam 2.0, including a new wardrobe, after the beta version got her shit together. 

None of this occurred to me until I heard Joanna Coles say in her opening speech, "In our 20's, we are still 'becoming.'" This is especially true as us 20-somethings navigate the dating realm, pinpoint out our hobbies, get bored with both of those topics, buy that plane ticket to Europe and change career paths every four months. But this statement reverberates any time we start a new journey or work toward a goal. 

What are your ugly clothes? What's holding you back? Throw that shit in a trash bag and make room for growth (or a fabulous wardrobe, or both). We don't have to wait until the end product to love ourselves. It's okay to be exactly where you're at, right at this moment. Drink it in and become.

Singly Yours,
Samantha Single In CLE